I'm supposed to be applying to jobs but I have somehow found myself on TripAdvisor reading reviews of the Cake Boss' Las Vegas restaurant,,,or should I say,,,RISTORANTE. Let's trace the winding road backwards to figure out how I got here, shall we, my children of the night? *sweeps vampire cape*
- BUDDY V'S RISTORANTE: Apparently the margaritas are excellent. I got here after DuckDuckGoing the Cake Boss.
- Buddy Valastro: He is the Cake Boss. I had to look him up and see if he was divorced yet after DuckDuckGoing his 2014 DUI.
- Cake Boss DUI: I couldn't refer to Alice Walton "cakebossing it" without doing a quick fact check first. Buddy did, in fact, say, "You can't arrest me! I'm the fucking Cake Boss!"
- Alice Walton DUI: This ghoul's Wikipedia page mentioned multiple car accidents, including several confirmed DUIs, so naturally, I had to dive deeper. She even hit and killed a woman once and faced no consequences. One time when she got pulled over, she asked if the officer knew who she was and apparently yelled something along the lines of "Do you KNOW my last name?"
- Alice Walton: I took it upon myself to look this woman up because I was subjected to her headshot during a presentation where it was conveniently not mentioned that she is the Walmart heiress and the presenter tried to dance around her evil aura. Alice is apparently a patron of the arts and a reckless driver with little regard for human life.
